what does it mean by...--happiness?
well in the dictionary it is defined as:
1.the quality or state of being happy.
2.good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.
hmm what about happy?
1.delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: "to be happy to see a person."
2.characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: "a happy mood"; "a happy frame of mind."
3.favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky: "a happy, fruitful land."
but really, for me..it depends on the person. I believe every person has their own definition of being happy or in happiness. For me, it's making other people smile for at least a second and forget all of their sorrows...yes. even for ONE second. That moment, if I could see their eyes..it is THE best feeling ever. Seriously, knowing that you've lifted THAT much weight off of someone's shoulders..even for a little while..makes your life a little bit more worth living. Be it that I will embarrass myself or whatever..it was all worth seeing a smile upon the most sorrowful face.
Well..nothing much happened today..birthdays and cakes. Ooh! thank God there were NO clowns. a freaky clown came up to me and my friends the other night at the "Hari Belia" event. He said we're not nice people for not buying the balloons he was selling. Durr! he completely scared the crap out of us showing up outta nowhere! Never really fancied clowns. That is one "SMILE" I am actually NOT glad to see..I admit some CAN be funny but I have friends who are more funny than 10 bagazillion clowns on this Earth! So in conclusion, i can DEFINITELY live WITHOUT clowns. =]
Hope you smiled reading this..at any part. Even though I don't know if you did but I believe so..and that will let my soul rest in peace. Thank you.
my interpretation: a girl(flower) is heartbroken (burned down in flames). I don't know about you..
not so sure about who it is by or what it is called either..but yeah..it's like a flower bursting in flames. it's the most beautiful thing ever..
seriously. I've had it wit whatchamacallit..LOVE? hmm 2 weeks away from H..i admit..i had a hard time. Meeting new peeps were awesome..but the thot of H was there..lingering at the back of my mind. I don't believe I love H. THAT is FOR SURE. H went wit H's gf..it's all cool. I'm not sad about that.
Hmm all this while..I've felt like I just watched the game from the sidelines. Bff's being the talk of the town. No one cared for the girl standing next to her. Well that's what i thought. Until that girl walks alone and discovers her own rays of sun. Okay i like it better talking in 3rd person mode. lol. so the girl on the sidelines..discovers she is just as good as the other players on the field. But I believe, that girl is still scared to play again even when she knows she can do it.
Some say life is a game. But you aint competing with no one but yourself right? so what about this so called "LOVE". it's like a game inside a game. only you get hurt like 10 times than the normal hurt. right? wait wait this is off topic..*sorry just wasted like 10 seconds of your life there. =]
anywho..so in that two weeks..finding HER own light was actually miserable. I mean, it was sweet having been noticed..but people, if you already have someone..don't leave him or her..*okay i'm totally lying to myself..coz i do stick with what Ryan Seacrest's mom said.."Boy, if you are ever stuck between two lovers, go wit the second one. Because if you ever loved that first gal, you wouldnt have fallen in love wit the second one" or something like that. I'd like to translate this into BM.
BM translation of what Ryan's mom said:
"Kalau awk.." hmm wait wait..err.."Kalau awak xbley pilih antara dua wanita, pilih lah yg kedua kerana jika awak cintakan yg pertama, x akan punya awk jatuh cinta dgn yg kedua" lol does that make sense? seriously it annoys me like i feel like it's not HEARD ya know? leave who you have now if u fell in love wit a new person. why? coz you wouldnt have fallen for the new person if u were TRULY in love wit the first person in the first place. lol. seriously i can go on explaining this "quote" or..whatever that is left of it. lol. hmm..
so yeah. leave him/her if u find someone new. that is so evil. but you can always you know..drop it slowly..tell him/her slowly..you dont have to be so mean. haha.
so anyways..someone "diagnosed" that girl's heart. the girl who was watching from the sidelines. someone told her that she is definitely not ready for "LOVE". I have to agree. and she couldnt agree more! =] and that got me thinking so this whole time..all the "LOVE" during the teenage years was nothing compared to what I feel now. oops i mean what SHE feels now. lol.
So..she's not ready. she knows that. so her justification for S is that she is not ready. but she doesnt feel like it's fair for S coz she is ever so ready if H2 had proposed. But really is this what all those BFF felt while she was standing on the sidelines? and G is not even in the picture no more. All taken people can just go live happily ever after and leave her wit all the single ones please. LOL not that she would want any..just saying. =p
I'm tired of thinking about it. It if happens then it happens. If it doesn't then it doesn't. that's what he said when "diagnosing" her heart. thank you. anywho..pisces are too emotional anyways. and yes..we DO think TOO MUCH of things. dammit. dammit. dammit. whatever..i think the following painting best describe my feelings towards "LOVE"...okay that's it! no more! no more! the next posts shall not contain "LOVE" at all!!! dammit.
does it? more like make my head go round..and that is even if it is love. don't know where to begin. why do guys who already have someone, wants someone else? well some girls do that too. so why do they do that? Is it because we didn't get who we wanted? but why are we with them in the first place if we never wanted them? Or is it because we were scared that we won't get who we want because we didn't give him what he wanted. or her..based on if you're a guy or girl reading this.
these past week or so have been heart breaking. despite meeting new awesome people. but people are people. and we are just humans. i get the feeling now..of not getting what you wanted but technically it is what you wished for. so be careful of what you wish for coz you just might get it. T_T so i should be thankful to God..for answering my prayers. why is there still a "but.."??
finally a single person..but why now? why God, why now? if i asked for You to open my heart for him, would You? even if i didnt mean it..T_T
I'm just a girl..who wants pure appreciation of herself..for who she is..and who she will become..is that too much to ask for?
God help me..
nothing much happened..February just celebrated naj's bday and yeah..ooh march! fav month! not only coz my bday's in it. lol. went on a photography trip to pahang. oh wait wait..February was the mural painting contest in JB! That was super fun! we practiced painting at level 16 and our stuff was just left there. we jacked the keyboard holder and made it our palette. Sir Amad was like "this looks familiar.." LOL. anywho, the bus ride was super fun coz there was like 15 of us? Amir joined as well..to take care of Dilla. And Kak Ain's boyfriend joined us too. oh! and Sir Amad's cuzie, Adi joined us.Slept over at UniKL MiTec. Seriously that campus is super awesome! Went out to dinner somewhere by the shores. hmm..Daus was like our tour guide. lol. oh yeah just as soon as we got to mitec we left for d nearest tesco to get pillows. lol. well they are more like cushions. Sir Amad had to follow us everywhere since he lost his phone. and then i believe..after showering n dinner we went to hang at the tennis court. We played a game called "tuju selipar"..it was my first time ever playing and it was so much fun! I didnt get the idea of having to put the slippers back into a tower like position until the next day lol. but i helped by distracting ppl and avoiding getting hit by the slipper. oh wait..we didnt throw slippers, we threw a tennis ball. less hurtful. lol. but that was fun. had to shower again after that. I think we watched a movie "Khurafat" on d way back. sat nxt to Adi and Sir poked me which made me jump out of my seat. But that scared the hell outta Adi and Chino sat infront of me. lol he covered the tv screen when he's scared wit his lil blankie. Afra sat across frm me n Adi..she screamed a couple times..i cant help but just laugh at them. Mela n DD were at the back..iono what they were doing but Daus said Mela was kinda freaked out too.
so then comes the photography trip. seriously i'm lost of the dates. that trip was cool. on d way there sat next to raffiq who scared the heck outta me when he left to accompany the driver and i was suddenly alone and it was really dark and we were on the road where they shot the movie "Khurafat". Yun n d gang were at the back tryna steal my cushion. hmm..then we got there and it was at the break of dawn. we didnt sleep after that we just continued with hiking and everything. it was a real fun trip. went on this hanging bridge. and i wasnt d only one overcoming my fears. so was yun! lol Adi was not much of a help when we were on the bridge. lol. Yun surprisingly was very nice tho. Maybe coz we were both scared to death. Then we had the performance nite and everything. it was definitely fun. oh yeah all that while, i didnt realize somebody was watching me for somebody else. kinda creepy. but whatever..
then a whole lot of assignments were given. had to make a game, model a gundam and iono what else. Yusof finally figured that i'm NOT in the photography class lol and i finally figured his existence. haha. He's cool. then came the killer week and then the finals..and then now. lol
finals were hard but i hope i did okay. anywho..not a day at home and i had to leave for the foundation's orientation week. Well..i dont remember what was the heart-breaking news i had before but that saturday nite was like..the saddest ever. and it was him. well i'd say stuff about love but that would just make this post longer. so anywho..went to Kedah and had so much fun. Meeting seniors and juniors that i never knew before. it was super fun! and during their explorace, all i did was take pictures and pop their balloons. that was so much fun evn until they branded me as the "Kakak yang pecahkan balloon". hahaha. And surprising a lot of kids were interested in going to MIIT. not in multimedia tho..but there was ne interested in animation and i think he totally belongs in animation coz he's a lot like fye and chino. lol. the last night there was kinda sad coz i still had to do the multimedia stuff but i guess it's okay. and i was bloody scared to go to the post mortem that nite coz i just knew what the program coordinator would say. couldnt sleep or eat for 2 days. well most of the time i was there it was hard to sleep. then when i got back didnt get to rest either. went out to see pirates wit Syira..then went to keramat for Amar's bday and then to selayang and then on sunday hung out wit the seniors frm mfi to meet other ppl frm the kedah trip! that was really fun! then comes monday when i thot i can finally rest..well we were planning to go up Broga Hill but then the weather was disallowing..so yeah yonggah went to the hospital so i had to pick up ariff. then comes tuesday..home alone..and rest..some week..and no i havent completely forgotten abt that saturday nite.